TIPS FOR DEALING
WITH PEOPLE IN PAIN
(Source unknown. Edited) Last update 11-24-06
- People
with chronic pain seem unreliable
They
can't be counted on to do as planned. When feeling better they
promise things (and mean it); when serious pain strikes, they may not
even show up. Pain people need the "rubber time" (flexible) found
in South Pacific countries and many aboriginal cultures.
- An
action or situation may result in delayed pain
Pain
may occur several hours later, or even the next day. Delayed pain
is confusing to people who have never experienced it.
- Pain
can inhibit communication
It's
as if someone is shouting at you, or trying to talk with a fire
alarm going off in the room. The effect of pain on the mind can
seem like attention deficit disorder. One may have to repeat a
request, or write things down when communicating with a person with
chronic pain. Don't take it personally, or think that they are
stupid.
For
example when in pain, noises that wouldn't normally bother the person
may seem too loud or grating.
People
in pain can't wait in a long line; can't wait for a long, drawn out
conversation.
- Don't
ask "How are you?" on every contact
You
must be genuinely prepared to listen. Otherwise the question just
directs attention inward to where the pain is.
- Pain
can sometimes trigger psychological disabilities
When
in pain, a small task such as hanging out the laundry can seem like a
huge wall, too high to climb over. An hour later the same job may
be quite okay. It's reasonable to expect a person in pain to be
depressed occasionally when they are hurting.
- Pain
can come on fairly quickly and unexpectedly
Pain
sometimes abates after a short rest. Chronic pain people appear
to arrive and fade unpredictably to others.
- Knowing
the location of a refuge as important as knowing where a bathroom is
A
visit is much more enjoyable if the chronic pain person knows there is
a couch, a bed, or a
comfortable chair when
needed. A person with chronic pain may not want to go somewhere
that has no refuge (e.g. no place to sit or lie down).
- Small
acts of kindness can seem like huge acts of mercy
To a
person in pain, your offer of a pillow or a cup of tea can be a really
big thing when a person is feeling temporarily helpless in the face of
encroaching pain.
- Not
all pain is easy to locate or describe.
Sometimes
there is a body-wide feeling of discomfort, with hard to describe pains
in the entire back, or in both legs, but not in one particular spot
that can be located. Our vocabulary for pain is very limited,
compared to the body's ability to feel varieties of discomfort.
- Their
may not be a good "reason" for the pain
Medical
science is still limited in its understanding of pain. Many
people have pain that is not yet classified by the medical profession
as an officially recognized "disease". That does not reduce the
pain; it only reduces one's ability to give it a label, and to have
others believe the pain.